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Dynamism of a Gainer: Practical Tips for Putting on Muscle

↘︎ Feb 11, 2014 … 2′⇠ | skip ⇢

dynamism-of-a-cyclist-sketch cropUmberto Boccioni

For many years, I was quite undersized compared to my peers. At age 12 I stood on my tippy-toes at 4’8” and weighed in at 70 pounds, with a full set of hockey pads. My teenage years were noteworthy in that I scored some great deals in the “boys” section of Kohl’s. It wasn’t until my second year of college that I finally reached my full height of about 5’11”, but there was little substance to my slight, 137-pound (on a good day) frame.

It was short of a year prior to this time, when my vertical growth slowed, that I decided to take an interest in fitness with the intention of putting on muscle mass so that I wouldn’t look as ridiculous in any clothes I wore. When one is 20 years old, a shade or two below 6 feet, wearing small sized band t-shirts and 28” skinny jeans, they’re often genetically or environmentally hard-pressed to put on weight and must make a conscious and concerted effort to do so.

I began with no plan other than to work out as regularly as possible, with little notion of energy expenditure and musculoskeletal repair, but did make small strides despite much wasted effort and self-sabotage. It hasn’t been until the past couple years in my mid-twenties that I’ve put pieces together and gone up two shirt sizes, which, being a static marker of feedback, I feel is a better indicator of gain than an arbitrary number on a scale.

This article is intended for those who have trouble putting on muscle (the so-called “hardgainers”) and do not want to make an outlandish investment of time and emotion into gaining said weight. At this point, I feel fairly dialed in to controlling my mass and I think the techniques I’ve honed may be universally applicable. These are a few simple strategies that have worked for me after remaining at a compositional standstill for years.

1. Work Out Less

By less, I mean both with lower frequency and for shorter duration. In terms of the former, it is my hunch that many fitness enthusiasts do not give their bodies sufficient time to recover and subsequently overcompensate (i.e. enter a muscle building phase) from their previous workout.

I believe soreness is a good indicator of recuperation. My recommendation is to avoid working out until the entire body feels fresh (meaning there is no soreness felt anywhere), and then don’t target the same area that was previously sore; vary routines.

Personally, I split my upper and lower body, with a few different movement patterns for each, to give myself proper rest. This approach has also come for me with the added benefit of reducing the likelihood of injury.

To address the latter, through experience and observation it seems a certain level of intensity is required to stimulate muscle growth. This could mean lifting heavy weights, exerting force with controlled intent until failure, or engaging in bursts of predominantly fast-twitch movements like sprinting. In all cases though, the duration of exertion is relatively short. These are not endurance exercises.

Moreover, the less one works out, the easier it is to reach a caloric surplus, which leads into my second suggestion.

2. Eat More Food

I’m not going to preach the efficacy of any particular nutrient or diet, but instead give general guidelines on how consume more calories, since an energy deficit prevents weight (and muscle) gain.

  • Foods that require little preparation are more likely to be eaten.
  • Fats contain about twice the calories of proteins and carbohydrates.
  • Liquids are easier to ingest than solids.
  • Variety increases indulgence.

Andrew Kim recently wrote an interesting article on metabolism, which may be helpful in picking specific sources of calories to achieve the body composition one desires.

3. Get More Sleep

Firstly, sleeping burns less calories than, well, not being asleep (unless one is eating).

Secondly, I feel the non-waking hours are when the body makes the most strides in regard to recovery and growth. Simple as that.


My intention here was to put forth a few practical concepts that can be individually interpreted and applied. I acknowledge they might not be effective for everyone, but these ideologies have yielded for me the most significant results with the least effort and preoccupation.

If a person is aiming to lose weight, I imagine performing the opposite of one or more of the recommended actions above would help foster a net loss of energy.

Me

circa 2009 (21 y/o)

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The Disintegration of Data: Why I’ve Stopped Quantifying My Fitness Levels

↘︎ Jan 20, 2014 … 4′⇠ | skip ⇢

salvador dali the disintegration of the persistence of timeSalvador Dali

A recent trend in the technology industry involves a push on quantifying and qualifying data pertaining to personal fitness levels in efforts to motivate consumers by making exercise, which typically involves abstract and delayed gratification, more desirable an activity by contriving concrete goals to be reached and rewarded.

My feeling is that the devices and apps being put out are an effective way to pull newbies into the fitness fold, but increase their risk of injury (or worse). The issue isn’t so much the technology, but the glorification of arbitrary data, ranging from miles run to weight lifted. This in my opinion has long been an issue of fitness folklore, and is now much more forefront and widespread with the adaptation of these tools.

After several years experimentation (and much wear and tear), I’ve found fitness far more attainable and sustainable when numbers are thrown out and feeling and intuition are instead favored to gauge the frequency and intensity required to make progress with one’s goals. Below I will detail what figures to avoid tracking (“the bad”) and what is better to rely upon (“the good”).

This discussion applies mainly to those who exercise for recreation and not competition or profession, which should entail a majority of readers.

The Bad

Distances, Speeds, Times, Calories Burned, Heart Rates, etc…

Basically, any points of data a treadmill will flash back at you, or that will be tracked by fitness apps (e.g. Strava) and other devices (e.g. Fitbit), are not important. It is all too easy to form unhealthy fixations on hitting arbitrary and ultimately pointless numbers to complete a workout, which often puts oneself at risk of injury by ignoring internal body dialogue. Calories burned is an especially questionable statistic to set a one’s goal.

Weights

Free weights can be dicey as well, especially when insecurity takes over and dudes feel the need to increase their lifts by a few pounds every workout, no matter what, so they can brag about new PB’s. This increases their likelihood of getting hurt. Fixed weights (e.g. machines) are probably safer, as they usually restrict the range of motion, but not foolproof.

Interval Training

I believe in allowing oneself to rest for as long as needed between bouts of exertion (ideally to let one’s heart rate and respiration to return close to baseline levels). Interval training totally eschews this mantra, requiring individuals abide by an almighty clock. Aside from often being overly demanding on newbies, this type of training can put people at risk of injury because they become so determined to perform movements for the full uptime, and not properly interpret pain they may be feeling.

Planned Repetitions (and to a Lesser Extent, Sets)

If one is performing a movement for repetitions, especially any including resistance measures, I believe they would be astute to listen to their body and gauge how many reps should be performed on a per set basis. It’s precarious to tell oneself they must do for example a set of eight barbell squats, but by the sixth repetition they are gassed and try to gut out the last two reps anyway with flawed technique. It is much safer and effective to simply perform reps until fatigue has set in and before form is compromised.

Being flexible with the amount of sets one performs is wise as well for the same reasons.

Scheduled Routines

The body need a distinct amount of time to recover from every individual workout, regardless of whether routines are fixed or varied. There are a multitude of contributing factors at play, aside from exercise intensity and duration, such as nutrition, stress, and sleep, which occur outside the gym, that affect recovery. These elements are not always easily controlled and homogenized from day to day, so therefore it’s unrealistic to believe one can reliably exercise on a fixed pattern and get optimal results.

When in doubt, I believe it’s better to be cautious and give oneself extra rest so that the body can fully rebuild and be less susceptible to injury. This might mean working out on average once a week or even less frequently.

Scales

Weighing oneself does not provide an accurate indicator of anything remotely meaningful, like how one feels or looks. A scale says nothing about body composition or health and wellbeing. Weight is a vastly overrated statistic for a majority of the population and many people would release a lot of anguish if they no longer tracked it.

The Good

How One Feels

This is above all the most important factor to consider when attempting to get in shape and further one’s fitness. The concept of intuition is often buried because of modern society, but one’s body will tell them all they need to know if they only listen. Being able to identify the difference between muscle fatigue and onset of injury, points of diminishing returns, and adequate recovery are all valuable skills to hone. No amount of data will be able to accurately describe those scenarios; they must be felt.

These days the only information I record about my workouts is which activities I’ve done and how I feel afterward so that I can self-reflect and make adjustments for the next time. The specifics of my routines are for the most part unplanned and I allow myself the flexibility to adjust mid-workout depending on how I’m feeling that day.

Nasal Breathing

If nasal breathing is not possible, I feel that’s a telltale sign I am pushing myself too hard. I stop until I regain control of my breath (and heart rate), then continue with my routine. Read this article for further explanation.

Cool Weather

The ability of the body to regulate its temperature is one of the most relevant and limiting factors in the exercise intensity one can safely achieve. Cool weather allows the body to dissipate heat, which is built up while working out, much more effectively than warm weather. Embrace the cold and be cautious as temperatures rise.

How One Looks

I’m hesitant to include this in “the good” because many people have issues with body dysmorphia, but I do think how one looks a better indicator of progress than say a scale, as long as one is realistic about their appearance and goals.

Conclusion

It has been freeing to work out without the added stress of meeting “magical” numbers. I’ve been better able to avoid injury and add muscle. (I can tell I’ve made gains because my clothes feel tighter and my muscle definition is about as good as it’s ever been.) I also now know that I don’t need to work out as often as I thought I did; I’d been sabotaging myself for years by cutting short my recovery time, thinking I needed to move around briskly at the least every three days.

In short, data-less exercise has been more rewarding in terms of time commitment, output, and enjoyability. I feel many others would also do well to get in touch with their instincts embrace this New Age wave of the future.

Me

circa 2013 (25 y/o)

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On Becoming an Instant Coffee Snob

↘︎ Jan 13, 2014 … 6′⇠ | skip ⇢

gabriele-munter-kandinsky-and-emma-bossi-at-the-table-in-the-murnau-house-1912-origart illustris

After a brief and bitter foray into the world of home coffee brewing, I realized I simply do not have the talent to finesse a palatable caffeinated beverage out of cheap beans and a plastic plunger. Even my background in chemistry could not bail me out of that frugal predicament.

This left me at a crossroads: either upgrade my gear and stock up on kopi luwak, or settle for instant.

Needless to say, I settled. Getting serious about coffee brewing can be pricey and time intensive, plus I’M LAZY. If I want to have exceptional coffee, I’ll pay someone else to make it for me.

However, my standards still remain high, and if I’m going to be drinking instant coffee, it’s got to be the best damn instant coffee little money can buy. This entry will document my ongoing taste testing and dogged quest to become the ultimate instant coffee snob.

All brews were made with 1 tablespoon of instant coffee, 4 tablespoons of granulated white sugar, 1 teaspoon of refined coconut oil, and 12 ounces of hot spring water.

These are the unadulterated thoughts that ran through my mind as I consumed each cup…

The Reviews

Café Bustelo: $1.51/oz @ Wegmans, $1.86/oz @ Amazon

“Woah. There is definitely caffeine in here. I think I went overboard with that heaping tablespoon I dumped in my mug. It has flavor. It’s slightly sludgy… BUT THERE’S CAFFEINE. Goes down pretty smooth. Would be great if you needed to stay awake for a week straight and couldn’t afford cocaine.”

Jacobs Krönung: $1.71/oz @ Wegmans, $1.38/oz @ Amazon

“The jar looks cool. Green is a neat color. Oh right, coffee. Not much flavor going on here. Airy. Reminds me of… baking soda? Yeah. Wish I was more buzzed. Wish I didn’t know what baking soda tastes like. Maybe two tablespoons would have been better. Inoffensive is probably the best word to describe it. People who watch the Hallmark Channel would definitely drink this stuff.”

Jacobs Cronat Gold: $1.71/oz @ Wegmans, $1.20/oz @ Amazon

“I taste burning wood chips. It’s like I’m in Cub Scouts all over again. Similar airiness to its brother Krönung. The flavor festers and I don’t particularly enjoy it. I wish my mom would come pick me up from camp. There’s nothing to do here!!! I have a feeling this jar will slowly make its way to the back of the cupboard where it will remain for the rest of eternity alongside my half-eaten bag of banana crisps.”

Medaglia d’Oro: $1.65/oz @ Wegmans, $1.62/oz @ Amazon

“I think medaglia d’oro means gold medal. Good thing I took three semesters of Italian during college. Taste is somewhere between Jacobs Gold and Bustelo. It’s smoky with only an inkling of odorous wood. Wood. Huhuhuh. Definitely drinkable. Concentrated but that’s partially because of its fine grind. I bet I could snort it. Good flavor to caffeine ratio. Doesn’t upset my stomach. I give it a silver medal.”

Ferrara: $1.85/oz @ Wegmans, $3.13/oz @ Amazon

“It tastes like I’m drinking the wrong end of a smoldering cigarette. Evokes the coffee equivalent of bitter beer face. If I was ever Secret Santa for someone I didn’t like, this would be one of their gifts.”

Nescafé Clásico: $0.78/oz @ Walmart, $0.78/oz @ Amazon

“Wow, this has not one, but two accented letters in its name. I’m not sure I am worthy to partake of this fancy brew. First sip… pretty sure this is the same coffee they serve at Denny’s. At least I don’t have to deal with muffled Garth Brooks yodeling in the background too. I’m actually kind of enjoying the taste, but it’s starting to stagnate and my mouth feels dry. I really don’t want to finish this cup but I feel obligated.”

[1 hour later]

“I’ve become progressively more and more dehydrated since drinking this ‘coffee’… I’m not sure what’s happening… oh god… IT’S SUCKING MY WILL TO LIVE. Would be funny to give this to a friend shortly before they have to deliver a big speech.”

Great Value: $0.56/oz @ Walmart

“The jar says both ‘Great Value’ and ‘Premium’ on it; I think that’s an oxymoron. The taste is making me cringe… it’s got this sour, medicinal bite to it. Reminds me of repressed terrors at the dentist’s office. The flavor is now dulling and I think I might actually drink the whole cup. There is a very real possibility it is laced with Novocain or some other local anesthetic. (Well played, Walmart.) I will regret drinking this.”

Pilon: $1.67/oz @ Amazon

“My spoon can’t fit into the 1.75 ounce jar. -10 points. Has a yellow lid that is identical to Bustelo (albeit a tenth of the size). Grind looks incredibly similar as well. Says it is a ‘100% pure coffee made from a blend of beans from one or more of the following countries: Brazil, Colombia, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Ecuador, Guatemala, Mexico, and Nicaragua.’ Does it come with frequent flyer miles too? Dark but murky flavor. Tastes a bit watered down. It’s close to Bustelo but not quite as strong. I wish it had a little more of a bite or caffeine kick to it. Musty aftertaste. Old people. I will probably finish this jar but won’t go out of my way to buy it again.”

Maxwell House: $0.69/oz @ Wegmans, $0.70/oz @ Amazon

“Comes in a ‘lightweight, EZ-open jar’ and is commended by the Arthritis Foundation for its ‘ease-of-use.’ I’m really glad that the friendliness of the jar such a point of emphasis of their marketing campaign. The aroma is pretty noxious and I am predicting I won’t make it to the ‘last drop.’ First sip made me cough violently. It gives a very authentic experience of walking into an old folk’s home and breathing in wafts of antiseptic fumes. My tongue feels weird. I think it’s being numbed. The flavor has changed and it’s not as pungent now, but for my safety and on the off chance I am consuming a neurotoxin this taste test is over.”

Folgers Classic Roast: $0.71/oz @ Wegmans, $0.65/oz @ Amazon

“My crazy uncle Glenn who once was attacked by a rabid squirrel drinks this crap religiously. Black. Grind looks and smells like cigar guts. Don’t ask me how I know about cigar guts. First hit sip made me cough. Can’t really put a finger on the taste. It’s not good but not awful. Somewhat bitter. Kind of like bad mids. (Oops. I didn’t say that.) I can see how my weathered uncle would enjoy this stuff. If I had no other option then I’d reluctantly tolerate Folgers but it would not be the best part of waking up.”

Whole Foods 365: $1.85/oz @ Whole Foods

“I actually really like Whole Foods aside from everything in the store being grossly overpriced and their cute cashiers always having boyfriends. (What gives?) For some reason I’m not all that optimistic about this coffee. Pretty clean taste. Not super strong or distinct but at least I didn’t gag. Flavor doesn’t stick; it dissipates kind of suddenly. A dash of cinnamon might put it over the top. HE LIKES IT!”

Mount Hagen: $3.40/oz @ Whole Foods, $2.45/oz @ Amazon

“This is pretty pricey because it’s organic. Far out, man. Jar is shaped neat. Octagon. Lid pops off when you twist it. I like that. It’s fun. It’s kind of like how I used to twist the heads off my sister’s Barbie dolls. I am worried the photo on the label is subliminally promoting Christianity though. Not super distinctive but there is almost no bitterness and the aftertaste fades gracefully. HALLELUJAH! I’m a believer. Praise be this cup of joe.”

Taster’s Choice House Blend: $1.21/oz @ Wegmans, $0.86/oz @ Amazon

“This is one of two recommended instants for the fabled ‘Bonus Cup.’ (That’s a recipe for another day when I have health care again.) The grounds smell like Eggo waffles. Upon adding hot water the aroma has now shifted to that of corn nuts. (I am definitely not at ‘all’ anxious to try this…) For being in the sub dollar-per-ounce group, it’s actually pretty Descend decent. Delivers a nice buzz but leaves behind a somewhat gnarly, burnt aftertaste. I can see how this would have fueled ‘Milo Goes to College.'”

Starbucks VIA Colombia: $8.05/oz @ Wegmans, $5.67/oz @ Amazon

“Ah, the snootiest of brews. I wish I had a beret or fedora to wear and iPhone to poke at while drinking this. Full bodied. Has chocolatey tones. Very smooth. Would give Wilt Chamberlain a run for his money.”

Starbucks VIA Italian Roast: $8.05/oz @ Wegmans, $5.67/oz @ Amazon

“Darkest roast yet. My breath is deadly. Close quarters conversations would be painful for the non-drinker. I can finally exert revenge on innocent victims for all those times my portly and pungent uncle Charlie would beckon my seven year old self and endlessly blab at me from 1-inch away during family gatherings while guzzling a Bud and smoking a cheap cigar.”

Maxim Mocha Gold: $0.53/oz @ Amazon

“This review is promising. It is a Korean-made three-in-one with coffee, sweetener, and creamer. What could go wrong? Initial whiff made me gag. The substance in my cup looks nothing the picture. NERVOUS. Tastes like murky pond water. I guess I diluted it too much. Better add a second packet. Not much change. Time to load up on sugar. Now it reminds me of a Frappuccino. I am also beginning to take an unexpected and irrational appreciation for Kim Jong-un. Thank you supreme leader for this glorious product! It is far superior to American snow coffee!”

The Winner

It’s currently a toss-up between Café Bustelo and Medaglia d’Oro. Both have a deceptively tolerable taste and are loaded with caffeine, plus they’re relatively inexpensive. You can’t really ask for much more than that.

I like the yellow jar better, and drinking it makes me feel like I am part of the Cuban drug cartel (“I’M TONY MONTANA!”), so Bustelo gets a slight edge.

Update: Medaglia has supplanted Bustelo for the top spot in my power rankings. Over the past ten months I’ve found the quality control of Bustelo to be suspect; a good jar is quite sensual, but far too often I’m left questioning my self-worth with each sip. Recommendation: rotate brands from cup to cup to maintain morale.

Update July 2015: Bustelo quality control has been on point as of late. Maybe word traveled that I’d knocked them a rank. You’re welcome, everyone. (Bustelo reclaims the top spot.)

Power Rankings

  1. Café Bustelo
  2. Medaglia d’Oro
  3. Starbucks VIA Tribute Blend
  4. Mount Hagen
  5. Starbucks VIA Colombia
  6. Starbucks VIA Italian Roast
  7. Whole Foods 365
  8. Pilon
  9. Jacobs Krönung
  10. Taster’s Choice House Blend
  11. Maxim Mocha Gold
  12. Jacobs Cronat Gold
  13. Folgers Classic Roast
  14. Great Value
  15. Nescafé Clásico
  16. Maxwell House
  17. Ferrara

Taste is subjective, but any of the top seven should satisfy most palates. Avoid the bottom four at all costs.

Note: I tried Starbucks VIA Tribute Blend a few months after initially publishing this article and I unfortunately failed to properly review it, but it does crack the upper tier of the power rankings.

Me

circa 2017 (29 y/o)

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ADAM CAP is an elastic waistband enthusiast, hammock admirer, and rare dingus collector hailing from Berwyn, Pennsylvania.

My main interests at this time include reading, walking, and learning how to do everything faster.

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