I’m just a dude who decided to make a website to document his life. I’m not all that special, successful, interesting, or brilliant, though others say otherwise. (They would.) I was not prompted to challenge myself academically as a pupil. I did what was required to get a top mark and no more; grades were all that mattered, however arbitrary they may be. I did not partake in extracurriculars besides sports—which I was encouraged to pursue, against all sensible logic, despite being perpetually among the shortest and weakest of my class. Sports are where young men (and women) attempt to destroy other young men (and women) for no reason other than machismo and school spirit and sports. I was not constituted for the endeavor, and even if I was, I’d still feel the repercussions of battle.
I was a ghost through college, which I attended absentmindedly and virtually compulsorily with no intentions or prudence other than to take the easiest courses possible and involve myself no more than physically or mentally required so that I could relax and chill and listen to music and smoke weed and get drunk but not the last two at the same time because that will end badly. I haunted the gym to Sisyphean end in lost safari for the body I never had and still had yet not extinguished the notion to annihilate my classmates. The competition resurfaced as a dogfight for grade points, cutthroat educational warfare.
I graduated satisfactorily with grades and debt. I white-flagged my way home, where I would remain for too long, and trifled away my twenties carnally gnawing on puerile, long-running interests in an attempt to “make it”—to see what I could do, on my own, because I had to know; most of which self-guided opportunity has amounted to an inconsequential societal impact and dyspepsia, but I reasoned during those years that I was doing something somewhat noble, for once, with genuine intention, that maybe someone would notice, their life would change, and at least I wasn’t totally broke or fixed on drugs.
So: Hi. I’m Adam. My full name is Adam Anthony Capriola, but I go by Adam Cap for short. Adam Cap has a nice ring. You’ll probably remember it.
I was named after my father’s mentor, a woodworker named Adam, who taught him the trade he came to love. I was likewise named after my father, Anthony. His name came from his father, also an Anthony. Capriola means somersault in Italian. I suppose it’s no coincidence that my father was a gymnast. I cannot touch my toes.
I was raised in Malvern, Pennsylvania, an upper-middle-class suburb of Philadelphia. It snows there sometimes, the local pizza is good, and most young residents don’t realize how good they have it. Opportunity’s overwhelming.
I spent my youth absorbed in trivial, antisocial, destructive pursuits that wrecked my moral trajectory and as a result I feel I’m behind the bar. People have always said that I look young for my age. I fear I will ever catch up.
To change. This is nothing more than a mirror. It reflects whatever’s been gunked in my mind and impossible to fully grasp otherwise. The stretches during which I’ve not regularly divulged my running thoughts, through this medium or another, have been the most sclerotic and self-oblivious of my life.
Which is to say: This place is littered with cicada shells; my thoughts and opinions are likely now elsewhere.
Join if you’d like to stay in touch—I will infrequently zap updates to subscribers.
You can (really, should, if you’ve made it this far) connect with me via e-mail. Kind, thoughtful messages are encouraged and appreciated. I do not do social media.
I am available for freelance web development. I specialize in custom WordPress solutions; see my code for example work.
My rate is $600/day. E-mail me with your project’s scope for an estimate.
- SixPrizes (2009–Present) (Pokémon TCG strategy blog monetized primarily through subscription model. Has generated average revenue of ~$60k yearly from 2012–present.)
- PkmnCards (2011–Present) (Pokémon card database with high-resolution images, pricing, and advanced search features. Has averaged roughly 175k pageviews and 10k users monthly from 2013–present—though little revenue, comparatively to SixPrizes.)
- Magoz (2017) (WordPress–Discourse integration for online course.)
- Namati (2015–17) (Freelance web development, mostly involving unique WordPress–Discourse integrations.)
- Diabetes Hands Foundation (2015–17) (Ditto, but with more of a focus on simplifying and stabilizing overly-complex web hosting and WordPress configurations.)
- I lost my front tooth in a bloody, not-to-be-spoken-of act of treachery that took place on the local pitch when I was twelve.
- I was at one point, in my teens, the No. 1 ranked Pokémon TCG player in North America. (Heart of the cards, Exodia obliterate, virgin, etc.)
- I didn’t start drinking coffee until my mid-twenties, and now I’m a veritable know-it-all (instant) coffee snob.
- I don’t listen to music. I did, and then stopped altogether after venturing too deep into the hardcore genre per recommendations of a delinquent vampiric barista tending a local coffee shop, whom I’ve dubbed “Vein Kid,” after his flowery appraisals of the nascent nu-metal band Vein (“HEAVY!”, “VIOLENT!”, “INSANE!”), and frying my audio-neuroreceptors.
- I sleep on a cold, hard floor—with no pillow. (Some nights.) I find mattresses to be too comfortable, verging on gelatinizing me into an amorphous pile of goo, and my once-bad back (and entire body) seems better off when I put it through a regular night of torture.
Disclaimer: Fun facts may or may not be fun or facts.
Age: 27 + 4
Height: 5’11” (180 cm)
Weight: I don’t (or care to) know precisely anymore, but ~165 lbs (75 kg)
Bones Broken: 4, if teeth are included
Number of Freckles: My girlfriend is still counting