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ENG 1011 (Craft of Language)

schoolwork | Class … see also: 12th Grade – English / 4th Grade / CHM 1112 (General Chemistry Lab I) / 11th Grade – English – American Literature / PHY 1042 (General Physics Lab II) / BIO 1011 (Biology I: Cells)

The Pros and Cons of Intermarriage

↘︎ Dec 4, 2006 … 5′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

When two people fall in love, neither differences in race nor religion can prevent them from tying the knot. Mixed couples become almost blind to their polar lifestyles and backgrounds after forming a serious relationship. Unfortunately, these dissimilarities which begin to become insignificant to the couple are glaring to their families and society. The couple is frequently reminded that they are two separate people from different cultures that should not belong together. Though mixed couples are often scrutinized and put under great pressure from their families and society, the trend of intermarriage will continue to grow and have a very positive affect on the families formed.

For the most part, parents of mixed couples do not accept inter-racial and inter-religious relationships, or are at least hesitant about the idea at first. When Yolanda E.S. Miller, an Asian woman, introduced her Caucasian boyfriend Jim to her family, she said, “He [her father] shook Jim’s hand and grunted while looking away when they were introduced. At dinner, he ignored Jim completely, speaking only in Chinese to my aunt (who, incidentally, was surprised to discover he could even speak Chinese)” (Miller 80). Miller’s father blatantly did not approve of his daughter dating a white male. The fact was that her father most likely had a fear of whites from the racism he experienced as a young Chinese man growing up in America. He was afraid that his daughter would experience the same racism and discrimination he had gone through, and thus did not want his daughter to have relations with a Caucasian. His behavior is understandable considering his past encounters with whites, and this is one of the reasons parents are apprehensive about intermarriage.

Another illustration of when parents are opposed to intermarriage occurred when an Arab man and a Jewish woman announced their relationship to their parents. When Ella, an Israeli Jew, introduced her Palestinian Arab boyfriend, Jamil, to her family, he remarked that “If I had walked in with a bomb in my hand, their reaction couldn’t have been worse” (Chen 34). Israelis and Palestinians are supposed to be fierce enemies, so the fact that their daughter was dating an enemy is the reason for the disappointment and outrage in her family. When society is against an individual, their family is supposed to be there to support them, but in this case the weight of society’s beliefs outweigh their family’s desire to stand behind them. Without their parents support, a marriage between Jim and Ella will be very difficult.

Kyle Spencer also reports about parental disapproval of mixed couples. He says, “That’s a lesson Karen Kildare, a black university recruiting director in Lincoln, Nebraska, learned firsthand when she brought home her college boyfriend, a white guy from an Iowa fanning family. ‘My dad said he was worried I’d become the family’s servant,’ she says. ‘He had this ridiculous mental picture of his baby girl out working in a field for a bunch of white folks’” (132). Again, similarly to the Asian-Caucasian couple, their father showed disapproval of their relationship based on past experience or teachings. People can be quick to judge, and mixed couples often do not gain support right away, if they ever do gain support from their friends and family. While families are usually somewhat against intermarriage, society is what puts the most pressure on mixed couples.

Society is what plants the idea of disapproval of inter-relations to parents when they are growing up. George Yancey, PhD, a black sociology professor at the University of North Texas says, “…the notion [of white supremacy] stayed with us after the [Civil] war, when it was used to legitimize segregation, discriminatory separate-but-equal laws, and legal bans of mixed-race marriages” (Spencer 133). It is understandable to see why a black parent would be uneasy about their daughter dating a white male when they grew up in an era where they were put down by white people. It will take time before hard times are forgotten and mixed couples can gain immediate support from their families.

Besides society influencing parents of mixed couples in the past, society continues to directly put pressure on mixed couples. “When…Taye Diggs and…Idina Menzel received death threats last year that mentioned their biracial marriage, it served as an unpleasant reminder that mixed-race couples are still confronted by prejudice – sometimes in aggressive forms” (Spencer 132). Not all couples receive pressure this extreme from society, but any pressure put on an intermarriage couple could be damaging to a relationship. The couple may not constantly deal with adversity, but they deal with it enough to make it a factor in their relationship.

Inter-religious relationships can be even harder to maintain because of pressure from society. When a Sunni Muslim and a Shiite Muslim married, “Terrorists, most likely from Al Qaeda, destroyed the Shiites’ Askariya Mosque in Samarra, and Shia militants responded by attacking dozens of Sunni mosques, including two in the local neighborhood of Adhamiya” (Dehghanpisheh, Nordland, and Hastings 24). The hatred between the two different religions is intense, which makes it extremely difficult for the couple to live even remotely comfortably. When facing such intense opposition of their marriage from society, what is the couple to do?

While there are many adverse factors towards intermarriage, there are many facts and figures pointing towards an increasing acceptance of mixed couples. Jim Lobe says, “The number of interracial marriages in the United States increased more than tenfold between 1970 and 2000, according to a new report which concludes that U.S. attitudes towards interracial dating and marriage have undergone a ‘sea change’ over the past generation” (32). This shows that the perception of intermarriage is taking a more positive spin in the publics view and that there are advantages to intermarriage. Why else would it be increasing?

With racism and discrimination down, people feel less threatened and are able to explore relationships which may not have been possible in the past. The relationships formed are very close, as the couple must be devoted to deal with any pressure they receive from their family or society. As a result of committed parents, their children are raised in a very close family. The family sticks together and there is a true sense of belonging for the children. The children will have a rich cultural background, which will give them difference experiences growing up. It is good for them to become acquainted with different cultures and gain understanding and tolerance of different people at a young age. Rhonda Ploubis, a wife in an intermarriage, says of her son: “I’m so proud that he will have a background that I didn’t. To have that rich history is wonderful. I don’t, and I sort of regret it” (Glaser 34). Also as a result of intermarriage, the children may grow up learning two languages. This is a bonus that could help them communicate with more people and potentially open up opportunities for them in the future.

With positive and negative effects of intermarriage, a mixed couple must be ready to deal with and prevent bad experiences to get the most of out their marriage. Arthur Blecher says intermarriage parents need to: “Have a clear plan for how you’ll identify or label your child, decide the identity of the household, which may be different from the identity of the child, make all decisions about the child’s identity as a parenting team, and to acknowledge your feelings and discuss them with your partner” (Glaser 34). It is necessary to decide beforehand on how to raise the child in order to reduce and confusion the child may experience about their identity growing up. They need to grow up with a solid foundation of who they are. The parents need to work together and be open in order for the marriage to work. Without communication, arguments could occur if one parent were to make a decision on their own regarding the children or if one parent becomes apprehensive to how their children are being raised. It is necessary to iron out any possible details about the family structure. As long as intermarriage families take these steps, they can be very close positive and productive families. Dealing with discrimination can be difficult, but as long as the parents are close and dedicated, the family they raise will be rewarding in the end.

Works Cited

Chen, Joanna. “‘We’ve Shot Ourselves in the Heart.’.” Newsweek (Atlantic Edition) 136.19 (2000): 34. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Dehghanpisheh, Back, Nordland, Rod, and Michael Hasting. “Love in a Time of Madness.” Newsweek (Atlantic Edition) 147.11 (2006): 24-26. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Glaser, Gabrielle. “MIXED Blessings.” Baby Talk 63.10 (1998): 34. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Lobe, Jim. “Interracial marriages on the increase.” New York Amsterdam News 96.30 (2005): 32-32. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Miller, Yolanda E.S. “Surviving Racial Storms.” Marriage Partnership 18.1 (2001): 80. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Spencer, Kyle. “What’s Interracial Dating Like Today?.” Cosmopolitan 239.1 (2005): 132-135. MasterFILE Premier. 15 November 2006. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Me

circa 2008 (20 y/o)

about adam

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  • 06 Dec 4: The Pros and Cons of Intermarriage #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University
  • 06 Nov 6: The Failure of Rogerian Argument in "Super Size Me" #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University
  • 06 Oct 11: Relating to “Running on Empty” by Robert Phillips #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University
  • 06 Oct 4: Why the SJU Shuttle Schedule Should Be Changed #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University
  • 06 Oct 1: "Running on Empty" and "I was stolen..." Poetry Responses #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University
  • 06 Sep 13: My Writing Process #ENG 1011 (Craft of Language) #Mrs. Marie H. Flocco #Saint Joseph's University

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The Failure of Rogerian Argument in “Super Size Me”

↘︎ Nov 6, 2006 … 3′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

Obesity, a common problem in America, is thought to be fueled partly by sugary, fatty foods sold at fast food restaurants. People generally know that fast food is bad for them, but they continue to eat it. Two extremely overweight teenage girls sued McDonald’s claiming that their food was the cause of their weight gain. Their case was ultimately dropped because they could not prove that McDonald’s food caused their obesity. This lawsuit intrigued Morgan Spurlock, who decided to see if McDonald’s food truly does cause obesity. In order to test this theory, Spurlock embarked on a diet consisting only of McDonald’s food for one month. He entered the experiment in very good physical shape. By the end of the experiment, Spurlock had gained almost twenty-five pounds, acquired heart problems, and his liver was badly damaged. He became very lethargic and had constant headaches. Besides the physical problems Spurlock endured, he also suffered mentally from depression.

Spurlock created a documentary, Super Size Me, showing his experience and how McDonald’s food affected him. The purpose of the documentary was to show the danger of McDonald’s food on a person’s health. The viewer could then decide for themselves whether or not they would continue eating McDonald’s food. Spurlock tried to portray the documentary in an unbiased mood, but for the most part, Spurlock did not do an adequate job of gathering and presenting the information he found in a fair manner. In a Rogerian argument, the person wanting change tells theirs views, but then also tells the views of the defendant, sympathizing with them. By showing knowledge of how the defendant feels, the prosecutor gains trust from the defendant, then suggests a common ground for agreement. By being respectful of the opponent’s ideas and thoughts, the opponent will feel less threatened and be more inclined to change their ways. Spurlock did not treat McDonald’s views and opinions with respect, and thus did not succeed in Rogerian argument.

A way the documentary failed in Rogerian argument was by containing a copious amount of sarcasm. Almost every time Spurlock showed McDonald’s side of an argument, he would present it in a sarcastic way, making McDonald’s look wrong and foolish. He sarcastically ordered and ate his food, which created humor and generally made McDonald’s seem bad. Cartoons and animations shown also added to the whole comical routine. This mood made the viewer take anything McDonald’s said unseriously. If Spurlock were to eliminate sarcasm, the documentary would be entirely different and McDonald’s would not seem nearly as bad as they are presented.

Another way Spurlock failed in creating Rogerian argument was by presenting McDonald’s stance on a subject, and then giving his opinion on the subject directly afterwards. He often showed a fact McDonald’s presented and then trumped it with an even better fact he found, or gave the McDonald’s fact and then asked an open ended question, which would make McDonald’s always look wrong. Spurlock almost never gave his side of the argument first, and then showed McDonald’s side last. If he did show McDonald’s side of an argument last, he would show their argument in a downgrading sarcastic way, not in the confident way he presented his arguments. The way he presented his arguments leaves the viewer thinking that Spurlock was right in every issue discussed.

There are also some specific parts of Spurlock’s experiment that he could have performed better. For example, under almost any diet, one is bound to become overweight and out of shape if they do not exercise. Spurlock seemed to drastically change his daily routine for the experiment. He was in very good physical shape before the experiment, so he should have kept doing whatever he did to stay in shape. If that entailed going to the gym and working out, he should have continued doing that during the month he ate only McDonald’s food. Changing his daily routine most likely skewed the results of the experiment.

Also, most people that eat McDonald’s do not eat it three times a day, and most people do not eat it every day. Spurlock could have shown what would happen if McDonald’s was eaten only once or twice a day, or it was eaten only every other day. It is unrealistic to think that people eat all three meals at McDonald’s every day of the week. By limiting the amount of McDonald’s eaten, Spurlock would not have gone under such a dramatic transformation and McDonald’s would not have looked so bad. If he had eaten McDonald’s food in combination with healthy food, he may have gotten much different results. He also could have gathered information on how much McDonald’s food the obese teenage girls that sued McDonald’s ate, and then went on diet similar to theirs. That would have been a more accurate representation of how much McDonald’s food an overweight customer eats.

Spurlock succeeds in showing how eating only McDonald’s for a month without exercise will affect a person, but he does not succeed in Rogerian argument. If he were to perform the experiment under more normal conditions and present information in a less biased way, then it would be fairer to McDonald’s. It seems that he tried his best to portray McDonald’s in a negative way. Spurlock delivers information to make McDonald’s look naïve and foolish much of the time. The humor he adds makes the documentary more enjoyable and captivating for the audience, but it detracts from its viability. Overall, Spurlock could have done a much better job of portraying McDonald’s in a respectable manner.

Me

circa 2017 (29 y/o)

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Relating to “Running on Empty” by Robert Phillips

↘︎ Oct 11, 2006 … 2′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

Growing up, there are times when we feel the urge to test the rules set before us. It does not matter whether it is a parent, teacher, or authority setting standards to adhere by. When we are told do to something, we instinctively want to do the opposite of what we are told. It is part of human nature. Rules and restrictions are things that our primitive instincts tell us to bend and break. For the most part, we are able to control these urges. We know that there are consequences involved with breaking rules. But every once in a while, we decide to test our luck. We think that we can get away without abiding by what we have been taught. First we must muster up some courage and confidence, and then when the time is right, we cross the line between what is “right” and what is “wrong”. There is a certain excitement or euphoria felt when we do something we are not supposed to do. This thrill of breaking rules overcomes us and we feel invincible. There is nothing that can stop us. With careful planning, it is possible to get away with breaking rules unscathed, but then there are times when we are caught red handed. There are not many feelings worse than when we are found out. We go straight from an extreme high to a complete low. The spotlight shines on us and there is nothing we can do to escape punishment. Though we know how bad it feels to be caught doing wrong, we keep testing limits because of the excitement we get. It is a very thin line we walk, but we keep walking on that thin line. I like the poem “Running on Empty” by Robert Phillips because it does such a good job at portraying this risk taking attitude.

In the poem, a teenager wants to take his father’s car out for a joyride. The father decides to let him borrow the car, but the teenager is to make sure the car’s gas tank is always half full. The son agrees, but when the fuel gauge reaches below half full, he keeps driving. He is overcome with an excitement of defiance against his father. He feels an adrenaline rush from going against what he is told. The car is still running, so he feels like he could drive forever. He and the car are invincible, nothing can stop them. The teenager’s high is only momentary as the car suddenly runs out of gas and he is stranded in the middle of nowhere at night time. He is in a state of a shock that the car actually stopped. He had run on empty for so long and his father seemed wrong about needing to keep the gas tank half full. In the morning he is able to refill the car and go home.

The poem does an excellent job of relaying the emotion felt by the teenager. Lines 4 though 16 are written as one long sentence describing the teenager driving. The sentence builds up to the moment when he runs out of gas. This creates an image to the reader of the car speeding down the highway, going and going until it abruptly stops. There is also repetition of some words in this sentence, which portrays the excitement and intensity felt by the teenager. Line 5, “The fuel gauge dipping, dipping…”, and line 9, “…mile after mile, faster and faster…”, show the intensity felt by the teenager. The repetition almost seems like his heartbeat rising. In lines 15-16, “…the wind screaming past like the Furies,” a simile is used. This also gives the reader an idea of how fast and exhilarating the experience of driving the car must have been. Lines 17-22 are short sentences, which contrast the long sentence describing the driving. Phillips does this in order to portray the shock felt by the teenager.

When I read this poem, I can almost feel the teenager’s exhilaration of breaking his father’s advice. I have had times in my life similar to that of the teenager in the poem where I did not listen to my parents and regretted not listening to them in the end. I have felt his same thrill of defiance, but then also his same feeling of shock when caught in the act of rebellion. The one long sentence with repetition of words really makes me feel like I am in that car with my heart racing. I can also feel the teenager’s shock and disbelief when the car runs out of gas. I can relate to this poem all too well, and that is why I like it so much.

Me

circa 2009 (21 y/o)

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Why the SJU Shuttle Schedule Should Be Changed

↘︎ Oct 4, 2006 … 1′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

The shuttle system for St. Joseph’s University currently begins its runs in front of the Sourin Residence Hall at five minutes and thirty-five minutes after the hour. The R5 Septa line stops at the Overbrook train station on the hour and on the half hour. For this reason, I believe the shuttle system should begin its runs later in order to somewhat coordinate its schedule with the train schedule. If I want to take the shuttle to the train station, currently I have to wait about fifteen to twenty minutes between the time the shuttle arrives at the Overbrook station and the time the train arrives. Alternatively, I usually choose to walk to the train station instead because then I have an extra ten minutes before I need to leave Sourin to catch the train. I do not need to start walking towards the train station until fifteen minutes or forty-five minutes after the hour. When it becomes colder out, I can see problems with both having to walk to the train station and having to wait for the train to come if I take the shuttle.

I understand that the reason the shuttle currently comes at five and thirty-five minutes after the hour is because that gives students time to get from class to Sourin and then take the shuttle wherever they need to go. Most classes end at fifty minutes after the hour, so fifteen minutes gives students adequate time to get from almost anywhere on the campus to Sourin by five minutes after the hour. Other classes end at times like fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, and forty-five minutes after the hour. The current shuttle times also give students coming from these classes a fair amount of time to arrive at Sourin before the shuttle comes.

If the shuttle were to come at fifteen minutes and forty-five minutes after the hour, then students going to the train station would not have to wait as long for the train to come. Another positive outcome from this change would be that students coming from classes would have an extra ten minutes before the shuttle comes. This would give them time to talk to a teacher after class, stop at the library to print a paper, or finish any tasks they need to do before the shuttle comes. They would not be in as much of a rush to make it to Sourin in time. I believe this change in the shuttle schedule would benefit all students and allow them to make better use of this convenience.

Me

circa 2013 (25 y/o)

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“Running on Empty” and “I was stolen…” Poetry Responses

↘︎ Oct 1, 2006 … 1′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

“Running on Empty” – Robert Phillips

This poem relates to the theme of memories and struggles of childhood because it is about a young man’s rebellion against his father. The father tells his son to always keep the car’s gas tank half full. The son ignores his advice and drives until the gas tank is almost empty for the thrill of defiance. The car eventually runs out of gas and he is stranded for the night. The need to defy one’s parents is part of growing up. It is part of the struggle between listening to one’s parents and making one’s own decisions. The poem is part of the writing trend of “New Narrative” because the poem tells a story and it does not follow any rhyming pattern or meter.

“I was stolen…” – Charles Simic

This poem relates to the theme of memories and struggles of childhood because it is about a child’s struggle to find their identity. The child switches between a gypsy lifestyle and a high class lifestyle. This contrast in settings could confuse a child and leave them without a sense of who they are. This poem shows the struggle of finding one’s identity while growing up. The poem fits into the writing trend of “Language Poetry” because it contains very simple sentence structure and has no structure of rhyme or meter.

Me

circa 2018 (30 y/o)

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My Writing Process

↘︎ Sep 13, 2006 … 7′ … download⇠ | skip ⇢

When I was a young boy in elementary school first being taught to write, my teachers gave me only a few guidelines to follow when composing a story. First, I had to have an introduction, which set the stage for my story by letting the reader know what they were going to be reading about. Next, I needed to have a conclusion to put an end to my story, and lastly, each paragraph needed to have at least five sentences. The shape of the rest of the paper was up to me. This writing style was fairly easy for me to obey. Once I got past the introduction, I was off to the races; my stories unraveled as fast as my pencil could go. I would only hit a snag if I noticed a paragraph only had four sentences, but that was easily fixed by adding a three word sentence to the end. Only when I arrived at the end of my story would I have trouble again. Everything in the middle was free, I had total control to determine how my story grew.

Then I began middle school. In sixth grade English class, I was taught a few more rules that my teachers in elementary school “forgot” to tell me. Like before, every composition was to have an introduction, conclusion, and each paragraph needed to have at least five sentences. The big change was that now, I could only have three middle paragraphs, and these three paragraphs had to be solely about one point that related to a main point in my introduction called a “thesis”. My freedom was gone. My papers were now birds without wings, they could only go so far. At first it was very difficult for me to write in this style, but being the methodical person I am, I got used to it. All I really needed was to come up with three points that would relate to my thesis, and then add details to those points. Coming up with my three points and thesis proved difficult at times, however. In elementary school, the rules set before me for writing allowed for anything to happen, so it wasn’t necessary to plan ahead when writing a story, all I needed was one idea. Now I needed not just one main idea, but three other ideas that supported it.

When starting a paper, I often spent time writing my first sentence sentence, thinking it sounds bad, deleting it, and then trying again. I needed to have the perfect opening sentence to begin my essay. It seemed like every sentence would now be important and scrutinized for content. Why else would I be required to write a paper with exactly five paragraphs? Every line had to have been significant. I spent many hours working on the perfect introductory paragraph, and if I got too frustrated, I abruptly ended it with my thesis. Next I had to write about one of my three ideas that would relate to my thesis, but after putting so much effort into my introduction, how could I possibly write not one, not two, but three solid paragraphs with separate ideas all relating to my subject? I could usually manage getting through my second and third paragraphs, but when I arrived at my fourth paragraph, I would be fresh out of information to use that would support my thesis. I had used all my good ideas in the second and third paragraphs of my paper. The fourth paragraph of my paper was usually weak and looked like it didn’t belong, but I needed to have five paragraphs, so it stayed. After spending so much effort conforming my paper to the rigid guidelines set before me, I would simply change a few words from the introduction and use it as my conclusion. My teachers seemed to be fine with this, as the conclusion was just supposed to restate all my main points, which were included in my introduction.

I used this writing style all through my middle school and high school careers. Every writing assignment, the same old same old. Through all those years of writing, I became well acquainted to the five paragraph essay, but I never felt like I could easily write one. It always took me a good hunk of time to come up with a thesis and three supporting ideas, and then writing the paper itself always gave me trouble because I was bad at elaborating on my ideas. Though it was difficult for me to compose, it was the only way I knew how to write. I couldn’t write a paper any other way, I needed to have five paragraphs including an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. It wouldn’t feel right if I tried writing in a different manner. Writing any other way would be like a guy joining a field hockey team. There is no rule or law against it, but it doesn’t feel right.

I continued this train of thought in all my writing until this summer when I started played saxophone in a band with some friends. I had wanted to be in a band for a while, so desperately wanted this band to work out and hopefully have a few gigs before the summer was over. All the members of the band were good at their instruments, but our singer was horrible at writing lyrics. He wrote the words one song which were about going to the zoo and killing pandas. Needless to say, I knew that if this band was going to go anywhere, I would need to write lyrics myself. I had never written lyrics before, but I didn’t think it would be that hard, as writing notes for the saxophone was fairly easy for me. The two mediums, the saxophone and pencil, couldn’t be that different, could they? One day I sat down to write lyrics to a song and I just sat there blank for about thirty minutes. I had no idea how I was supposed to go about starting a song. In school I was always given an essay topic to write about and I was told how my essay was supposed to be structured. Now it was up to me to choose my essay topic, and it was up to me to decide how my essay was going to be structured. It took me days before I could think of something to write about and how to structure my song, but once I did it was like the Berlin wall coming down. My first song was very primitive and plain, but it opened up my ability to write creatively, which I hadn’t done since I was in elementary school. I began to come up with new ideas for lyrics at ease. Often I would get an inspiration from a rhythm and write a few good lines, then come back later and fill in the rest. The lyrics I wrote could start in different parts of a song. Sometimes I would begin with the beginning, but other times I started with the chorus or even a verse.

The way I wrote lyrics totally differed from the way a wrote papers in school. They could start anywhere, be about anything, could rhyme, could not rhyme, or follow any kind of pattern. I would start writing them whenever I had an inspiration, as opposed to in school when I was told when to begin writing. The only part of writing lyrics I have found difficult is finishing them. Once I have created a pattern or rhyming scheme to a song, it becomes tedious to finish the last few lines because I’ve created a structure I need to follow. The first few lines I create are pure inspiration, but the last few are usually lines I need to complete the song. Unfortunately, it’s necessary to write those last few words to the song, or else it would be unfinished and it wouldn’t be something that people would want to listen to. It is important to polish any song I write because when I let my thoughts flow, sometimes a few less than stellar ideas come out and they need to be revised. This is a boring mundane process that has to be done to get my ideas and messages across as clear as possible. This process that I now go through is much like Peter Elbow’s ideas of first-order and second-order thinking.

Elbow says that there are two different ways to think about your writing process, first-order and second-thinking. First-order thinking is what Elbow describes as being “intuitive and creative and doesn’t strive for conscious direction or control.” It is an uncensored type of writing process in which the writer simply writes whatever comes to them. Spontaneity and creativity define this writing style. “We use it when we get hunches or see gestalts,” says Elbow. In order to truly write with passion, Elbow says we must use first-order thinking to get our ideas down, regardless whether they make total sense or not. Carelessness takes a front seat over control in first-order thinking.

In second-order thinking, consciousness is crucial. It is necessary to know the direction of the writing and what kind of structure it is going to follow. Grammar plays a big role in second-order thinking, when in the case of first-order thinking, it is an afterthought. When describing second-order thinking, Elbow says, “We steer; we scrutinize each link in the chain. Second-order thinking is committed to accuracy and strives for logic and control: we examine our premises and asses the validity of each inference.” While this ordered type of writing may seem best suited for writing something like an essay for school, this is not necessarily the case.

Elbow says that, “second-order thinking often brings our people’s worst thinking.” When we strive for structure and organization, we make it more difficult to think freely and have an open mind with ideas. We tend to filter thoughts out before we even write them down because they may not fit perfectly within a paper’s format. So does this mean we should write solely with first-order thinking in mind? First-order thinking is what gets our ideas and thoughts down on paper, but it can often be a string of incoherent sentences. Elbow believes that we need to use both first-order and second-order thinking when we write. First-order should be used when beginning to write a composition in order to get any and all ideas down on paper. Once we have expunged our brains of any notions for our paper, we must go back and retool. Second-order thinking lets us fix our grammatic mistakes, revise any unclear points, and overall make our paper understandable to other people. The use of both first-order and second-order writing is what really allows us to get our best ideas through to other people.

I wholeheartedly agree with Elbow, especially when it comes to my process of writing lyrics. I must start out writing what comes to my mind; I can’t filter what I think about or else my creative drive will go away. If I think too much about what I’m writing, I start to go back and edit my lyrics when there are still more in my head, I may forget the ones I had in my head or decide they don’t work with the edits I had just made. I must use first-order thinking when writing songs, it is the only way for me to get my ideas out. Once I have emptied my mind of inspiration, I will go back over my lyrics and make sure they make sense, have the right amount of syllables, have the right rhyming scheme, and have the right form. If were to present my raw lyrics as a finished product, they would make no sense to an outside party. Once I revise them, they become something that anyone can understand and appreciate. Second-order thinking is needed in my writing process to make sure my thoughts are coherent. Without first-order thinking, I my best ideas would not come out on paper in the first place and without second-order thinking, they would not be comprehensible. Through the use of both, I am able to express any ideas, thoughts, and beliefs in a professional manner.

Me

circa 2013 (25 y/o)

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Mrs. Marie H. Flocco (Teacher) / Saint Joseph’s University (School) / schoolwork (Post Type)

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ADAM CAP is an elastic waistband enthusiast, hammock admirer, and rare dingus collector hailing from Berwyn, Pennsylvania.

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